Oh, this crazy life. We have had so much change in the last year…too much. At this very moment, this is what is going on… I am sitting on my new couch (yay IKEA) and I just finished two spoonfuls of nutella. I started a load of cloth diapers and before that I journaled and listened to a chapter in my newest audio book Loving My Actual Life. Abigail is upstairs and I have 6 minutes to write this blog before I have to nurse her. Kat and Ella are spending the week with their cousins in Fuquay-Varina because this was the week we all agreed would be the most helpful for us. Most of our boxes from moving are unpacked. Well, that is not true. We have a garage FULL of stuff that we need to go through. We need to purge, toss, donate, or give up more than half of the crap in there. This is what happens when you go from almost 4,000 square feet of space to 1,200. Before we moved into this new rental, we had that junk in a storage unit. Two things we said we would never do. One, we said we would never have stuff in a storage unit. Two, we would never use a garage as anything other than what it is supposed to be used for, cars. Well, let me tell you a secret. Life happens and you end up moving to a new place, renting a storage unit, then moving to another new place where the garage is filled with junk. My current goal is to go through the crap and be able to fit ONE CAR in the garage. It will be good, and I want to live with less, but it is hard when I am married to someone who likes to hold on to things, and let’s be real, I can be quite sentimental too. So, you guessed it, I have been the one going through our garage filled with crap and making the hard decisions on what to give up. Anyway, this is me most days. No, not the Barbie. The dinosaur. Ahhhhhhhhhh! This is my life!!!!!! But we have fun and I laugh a lot.
It is a beautiful life to be sure, but not without its hardships. The time we thought we would have with Matt when Abi was born (on the day we we moved in case you missed that via social media) was spent hanging stuff, unpacking boxes, and getting our new rental livable. It is just starting to feel like home. We wanted those early weeks to be spent resting with Abi and snuggling with our big girls watching movies. We didn’t plan on moving but this opportunity was too good. It has been hard, at times extremely hard, but the timing of it all now it something I see as a blessing rather than a curse. Matt would be spending every waking moment trying to get us settled after work had he not been able to do all of that on his paternity leave. Truth be told, it isn’t actually paternity leave. We had to save his days and use vacation and sick time. Why is it so hard for people to understand that dads need that time too? Maybe we would have healthier family dynamics in this world if we allowed dads time off too… Especially in the US, we do not value this very precious time. See the map below to see how each state ranks. Currently, NC is failing. The other thing that drives me crazy is how people will say things like, “Well I never had that with my husband. He went back the day after we got home from the hospital” Truth is, I hate that for you and for your kids. I will say, Matt is one of the most involved dads ever. He may not enjoy changing dirty diapers, but he gets right in there. He is up with me at night, even if it’s just to put the pacifier back in baby’s mouth real quick, or to hand me baby. He is RIGHT here with me, and let’s face it, it takes two to tango. We both made this little person, and he wants to be a part of their lives as much as he can be. I am grateful he has been able to take time off with each of our kids. We had to plan it though and it was a sacrifice. Vacation and sick time g-o-n-e. So, let’s hope this mama doesn’t get sick any time soon. Let’s all say a prayer right now that Matt stays healthy too! We need to bank up some more hours before any nastiness hits this house. Oh, and it is cold and flu season. Lord, help us.
I will say my overall mental state of health is great here. I am enjoying the convenience of our location more than you can imagine. We have plenty of awesomeness just around the corner. I have now learned that I am simply not someone who can live in the middle of nowhere, isolated from convenience. As much as the thought of that sounds lovely, it is not me. I think it is an idea of me but not the reality of who I am at all. Now the challenge is this, to find a nice piece of land (preferably 2 acres) that is close enough to everything and not outrageously expensive. Good luck, Lindsay. Probably not going to happen. So, what is our dream here then? I don’t know. I thought we were moving here for a new way of life… No more neighborhoods. Have some chickens, a nice garden, throw in a few goats and we’d have a mini homestead. Maybe that isn’t part of God’s plan. So, we wait. We pray. We are not sure what Asheville is supposed to look like for us. Do we build or buy? We don’t know. Again, we wait. We pray. Lord, let you will be done.
The last four to six weeks have been painful with some personal stuff (ask me in person and I will be happy to share) but I think I am finally starting to see why I am in Asheville. I have been seeing why Matt is here for a while. I even could rationalize why WE were here (him and I, like as a couple). I just wasn’t seeing why God wanted me here. I am starting to. More on that later. Anyway, here are some updated pics of us, I attached a few. We are back in ballet lessons, play dates, and since I am getting decent sleep, we have had a few adventures too. Big news, I start homeschooling Kat on Monday. Yep, I am one of those moms, but not really. I am super laid back and uncommitted to the idea of homeschooling. At this point, it has to be fun and easy or I am not going to do it. We are calling this our trial run. I am going to make a year by year decision. So…pray-for-me. If this is what God wants for us, we are going to run with it. For now, I feel this is where He had led me, so I am following Him. Below you will see a picture of me organizing our homeschool stuff. This week without our big girls has allowed for me to get a lot done that otherwise would have been impossible. A huge shout out to my cousin Arica who so graciously took Kat and Ella, was ok with the idea of 4 kids and little sleep so that I can try and get it together. She is so generous with her time and her love. Really, she has been one of the key people that has made this move, bringing Abi into the world and to this new home possible. We are grateful for her. So very grateful.
Homeschooloing, here we come. Am I ready? Probably not but we’re going to give it a go.
Mountain Play Lodge play dates with our best buds (not pictured bc they were sliding or running around).
My biggest girl, Kat. She may talk a lot in ballet (we’re working on it) and she may try to tell knock knock jokes to the teacher (who graciously laughs), but she also makes sure to talk to every little person in there. She makes the other students feel loved and usually can be found holding someone’s hand, encouraging them on their turn across the dance floor. She is such a lover. She loves everyone all the time. Oh, and she loves ballet too. I am so proud of her.
Saturday morning snuggles. Love this bunch (I was holding Ella).
One fine morning, Ella decided to cover Abi in rocks. Yep.
Here is my golden girl, enjoying her free donuts on National Pirate Day. We were given three dozen because apparently Krispy Kreme gives you a dozen for free, per person (not per family as I thought). So we brought some to Matt at work. By some I mean 2 and a half dozen…
Abi and I just outside in the car while Kat was at her ballet lesson and Ella had a quick nap in the car. She is the easiest baby we have ever had. Praise the Lord! She is a gift. Truly, she is such a joy! I love her and I love having three girls!
P.S. Here are some blessings right not that I need to share:
*Harris Teeter grocery pick up (Walmart does the same thing so if you want to try them out, DO IT! Walmart has a free service)
*Friends that are real and don’t judge. You know who you are. You ask how I am doing and tell me I am doing a good job, and you have offered to help right now, brought us a meal, and prayed for my family. I love you, friends.
*Having a church that has a great women’s ministry
*A gifted counselor who has helped me navigate through one of the toughest years of my life.
*A husband who encourages me, loves me, and tells me I am beautiful at least once a day. Oh yeah, and he works so hard for us. I love him.
*My heavenly father who is so patient with me, forgives this hot mess, and has some amazing plans for me despite the struggles and the pain. He is using me, my mess, and this pain for His glory. Praise Him!
