Hi all. I have recently come to a decision. It has one I have been wresting with for years. I have decided to permanently delete my facebook account. In recent years, I have stepped back from social media a lot. I used to get all fired up about something and then felt compelled to share it with the world wide web via facebook. It created an odd pattern in me. One that I didn’t like. I also seem to be addicted to reading other people’s updates. I am either encouraged, intrigued, outraged, or a thousand other feelings.
What I have learned about myself over the last however many years of having facebook is that it is not good for me. This is true for me, but it is not true for everyone. My reasons for keeping facebook have been to stay connected with people and to keep running my business page.
Well, if you want to stay connected with me, you’ll have to do it the old fashioned way. Ha! Text me, call me (don’t be surpried if I don’t answer bc I have three kids and I am working on not being glued to my phone), e-mail, or write me a letter. No hard feelings, but if you haven’t been in my life, other than facebook, for say three years, then you don’t know me anymore. I used to feel this desire to stay connected with people and social media seemed to be the most rational way to do that. I am over that now. Romans 12:2 keeps ringing in my mind. Unfortunately, I have been conforming to the patterns of this world. Newsflash: nobody is making me do this. I am allowing this type of behavior, this addiction. So, what am I going to do about it? I am stepping out of the cycle. I am a powerful person. I am choosing to say, “No thank you.”
Instead, I plan on investing in the relationships I have that actually are producing fruit in my life. This does not mean I do not care or love all of the folks on facebook that I am “friends” with. I do! I have peace that this is the best decision for me. It is the best decision for my family. I want to spend less time on my phone and focus more on what is in front of me.
When it comes to my business page, facebook isn’t my friend…truth. Facebook will not let me have just a business page. I have to have a personal account in order to update it. Also, nobody sees my stuff unless I share it on my personal page. Facebook used to be a great resource for networking. Not anymore. Facebook wants me to pay out the wazoo in order for anyone to see my stuff. I am not in a place where I want to pay for other people to see my stuff. Even though I have close to 1k fans, only a handful see what I post. It just is not worth the effort. It makes me a slave to facebook, always updating my business page and then getting so frustrated when nobody sees my work. So frustrated. Why am I so frustrated?! I tend to value the opinion of others way too much. Even if I know deep down my work is good, sometimes more than good, why do I feel like I need someone to like, comment, or share so I feel validated? Ummm…gross. I don’t want to be addicted to the approval of others. Again, “No thanks.” On another note with VAP, in the last few months, not one job has been from facebook. Not one. So, the income I have been bringing in is all from people meeting me, or hearing about me.
So, my plan is to keep updating my blog, and that is a form of an internet presence that I am okay with. It is healthy for me, and that is the difference. In truth, blogging can be quite therapeutic for me. I hope to share more personal pictures of our life as well as current business stuff. I plan to update my website (and it has needed some updating for a long time now, haha). I hope to keep it updated regularly too so anyone who may be interested in hiring me can see my most recent work. I’ve been wanting to get my current stuff out there for a while but I have been too busy playing on my phone on facebook. Ok, that is not all I have been doing but you get the idea.
Here are some truths that I have come to understand and accept about myself. These may just be true for me, but they might be good for you to chew on too.
1. I do not need to know your political, religious, sexual, health, food, or any other preference in order to love you. I want to love everyone regardless of these things. That is what I believe Jesus did and I want to model that.
**side note** I am sick of all the hate. A large part of this decision is plain and simple. I am done with the drama. I am so over people hating on one another. It literally hurts my heart. Call me sensitive (I am), call me compassionate (I am), or even a dreamer (I am) but I long to live in a world where people aren’t so freaking ugly with one another. I am trying my best to instill this in the lives of my children.
2. If you are my friend or want to be my friend then this change will not hurt our relationship. I am committed to God first, then my family and thereafter my friends. I do not believe there is one single friendship on facebook that if lost will be such a bad thing. I am struggling to handle what I do have in front of me and getting rid of facebook will allow me to be fully present. Being fully present (my mantra right now) will allow me to do better and enjoy what is right in front of me.
3. Real relationships are invaluable. I am convinced that real life relationships are far richer and healthier for me. I am talking about physical, quality time. As much as I rejoice in reading the latest thing your kid learned, see the pregnancy announcement, or browse the family pictures that you just had taken, I believe there is still a way to rejoice in these things without facebook. I may miss some special moments but if they are super special, I will be informed some other way.
4. For someone who cares deeply (at times too deeply) for others, facebook is not good for me. I realized this years ago and started making adjustments and bringing some of my junk to the Lord. I am a people pleaser, an overachiever, a dreamer, and artist, a lover, and so much more. Good news is, God made me this way. It is no accident. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have boundaries or make decisions that may seem strange for some. This makes perfect sense for me.
5. Sometimes, doing the right thing is really hard. Actually, most of the time it is harder to do the right thing. I could just keep doing what I’ve been doing. I could just keep scrolling, keep my phone in my face, and know that I don’t like this about myself but oh well. As I said when I started this blog, I have felt convicted that facebook needed to go for a while.
In closing, I am happy to say that when I decided to do this, I felt an overwhelming peace about my decision. This is definitely from God! I have been praying for this peace for a while now and sure enough, He has covered me in it.
Here is what I am choosing, today, tomorrow, and forever. I am not going to conform to this world. I am going to transform my mind and become more like my Savior.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
At the park with my girls since it feels like spring outside.
This girl. She looks way older than 5 here! She needs to stay little.
Our family date this month (or should I say last month) was seeing the Lego Batman movie.
When we were in Georgia Matt and I got a sunburn since it was about 80 degrees out one day. Abi stayed cool and looked like Mother Mary. Haha
We all got some new GT gear since we were in GA. They don’t sell the kids stuff anywhere and I wanted our girls to have some new threads and represent!
A date night last month. Since this picture was taken, Matt has shaved his beard. He’s had it for about three years now and he wanted to make a change. He looks so young now, haha.
We recently cleaned out our garage and now my van can fit and we can easily move around (hooray). I came across some old Pointe shoes and put them on for the girls. They were obsessed! Ella wanted to wear them so badly. I plan on hanging these in their room.
